Donna L Greenwood
1. THE DISPATCHDear Mike
She tells him that her head has fallen off. She tells him that the nurses squeeze her arms too tightly and the blood-pressure sleeve makes her cry.
He says, "I'm sorry, Izzy, that doesn't make any sense to me."
She tells her husband that she's okay, that she's well enough to go home now.
He says to the nurse, "She's making that noise again."
The nurse replies, "I think she's saying an actual word. It seems familiar."
She screams at them now. She shouts that the food isn’t warm enough, that the corridor smells of boiled cabbage and that she's going crazy because nobody is listening to her. Her husband sobs dramatically, and the nurse leads him out of the room with her arm around his shoulder.
Mike has never cried before. She calls after him that she's okay, that she’s just scared, that she thinks she might have died and gone to hell. But her mouth jibber-jabbers and her head falls off again and the hospital room looks strange through her upside-down eyes.
When Mike comes back, he's smiling. He holds out a notebook and pen.
"The nurse says that sometimes people with aphasia are able to write the words they can't say. Do you want to have a go, Izzy? Do you think you might be able to find your words if you write them down?"
She tells him that she is speaking perfectly clearly and they're the ones with the problem.
"Manzana? Is that what you’re saying? Is that a word? It sounds like it might be. Is it Spanish? Are you trying to speak Spanish to me, honey?"
She tells him that she's speaking excellent English as she's had to do for the past thirty years because he and the kids are too damn lazy to learn her language.
He says, "Oh baby, write your words. Tell me what you need to say."
She says, "Manzana."
Mike looks over at the nurse, "I think I know what she’s saying.” He takes hold of his wife’s hand, tears shining in his eyes. “Oh Izzy, I love you too."
The nurse laughs, "My grandmother is Spanish. Manzana means apple – but I think Isabella is trying to communicate. Is apple meaningful to you at all?"
Mike frowns and says, "I'm not sure. She does like an apple every now and again. Maybe she’s trying to say that I’m the apple of her eye or something. Izzy, what are you trying to tell us? Why don't you write it down?”
She stares at her husband. A shard of memory slices through her brain and she remembers that she and Mike never finished their argument because, just as she confronted him with the text messages, her mind set alight and for a while she was the stars and the moon and the universe at all once.
Mike is smiling at her and pushing the pen into her hand.
“Just tell me how you’re feeling, honey. What can we do for you?”
Well, you could start by telling me who Valerie is and why the hell you felt it necessary to send her a picture of your pene, she tells him.
“Oh Manzana, manzana, I love you too, sweetie. Try writing it down. Can you find the words?” Mike pushes the notepad onto her lap and nods at it.
She grips the pen in her hand and looks at the blank page. Her daughters are grown and have children of their own. They don’t visit. There is only Mike now. Words tumble through her punctured mind. They rearrange themselves into a sentence her mother used to say, ‘I want to see you shine, Isabella, like a star’. Words from long-ago crack open her jigsaw-brain and let the light in.
Estrellita ¿dónde estás?
Quiero verte cintilar
She presses the nib of the pen onto the paper and writes a letter to her husband. When she’s finished, she gives the letter to the nurse, who reads it and says, “I think she’s found her words. Good for you, Isabella.” The nurse hands the note to Mike, shaking her head in disgust.
Mike reads the letter and frowns at his wife, “I don’t understand. What does it say? Why have you written it in Spanish? I don’t know these words. What do they mean, Izzy?”
Isabella smiles and says, “Manzana.”
2. BUREAU INVENTORYThe Best Horror of the Year, edited by Ellen Datlow
The New Uncanny, edited by Sarah Eyre and Ra Page
Cheap supermarket flowers
My HP mini laptop thingy
My notebook where I scribble ideas as I write.
3. BIOGRAPHYDonna L Greenwood writes flash fiction, short stories and poetry. Her work has been nominated for Best Small Fictions, Best Microfiction and, this year, a Pushcart Prize. Her debut novelette-in-flash The Impossibility of Wings has recently been published by Retreat West.